In the words of Amos Lee, "Keep it loose, keep it tight."

"Sometimes we forget who we got,
Who they are.
Oh, who they are not.
There is so much more in love,
Than black and white.
Keep it loose child,
Gotta keep it tight.
Keep it loose child,
Keep it tight"

-A. Lee

This song automatically places my psyche into relax mode. I imagine that it's sort of equivalent to Mr. Roger's methodical unbuttoning of his cardigan sweater and the de-lacing of his dress shoes. What all that means is that when I listen to "Keep it Loose, Keep it Tight," my mind sheds it's business attire to put on sweats and fuzzy bedroom slippers.

The concept of keeping it loose really resonates with me right now (as I'm taking a "break" from my rather large paper that is due tomorrow at 3pm). Amidst all the life issues, heart issues, being behind in schoolwork and of course, family drama, sometimes it's necessary to just put those things aside and relax. One can only handle so much tension in their life before that tension snaps their sanity in two. I, for one, need my sanity in order to function as normally as I can. Of course, having hope in the eternal and heavenly things helps A TON with keeping my sanity in tact. Thank you, JESUS.

The reason I'm behind in my school work right now is because of this philosophy I have in "keeping it loose." I am not trying to justify anything, but I think I'm just trying to explain myself (something that I can't help doing, apparently). But for example, today, knowing that I have a test tomorrow and a rather large paper/project due (both in the same class. YES.), instead of FREAKING out, as one would assume would be the natural reaction, my reaction was to...take a nap, then spend an hour reflecting on my life, as I sat in my car and ate chinese food. After I was adequately relaxed, I started by project. And I was more prepared to engage my task at hand.

Going, going, going doesn't fly with me. I am not one of those people who do things to avoid thinking about things. I tend to be the type of person who don't do things because I'm thinking about things. I think I value my mental health more than that 4.0 average. (Funny or not funny?)

My efforts in trying to maintain my mental health can be a good thing, but also a very bad thing and obviously, not compatible with a heavy course load. Yikes. I'm sure as I continue to grow, I'll learn to be less on the "keep it loose" side of things and more on the "keep it tight." But not so tight that I break in half. I know there's a happy medium. Maybe I should write a song called "Keeping it pliable," or "keeping it at the consistency of Jello."

Ok, back to project.