"Jesus is a genius"

...that was a direct quote from the pastor this morning of the Fountain of Life Church in Long Beach, California. There was a lot of context behind that statement...mainly the passage in 2 Timothy 4:13, where an imprisoned Paul is writing some personal instructions for Timothy: "...When you come, bring the cloak that I left with Carpus at Troas, also the books, and above all the parchments." The parchments, being Scripture--most of which Paul had written--were the most important thing to Paul. Not so that he can admire his penmanship, but because these parchments were some of the earliest manuscripts of what we know to be the New Testament.

Paul, in the midst of his suffering, needed encouragement from God. He needed the Bible. An amazing thought struck me at church this morning. Well, amazing in a "wow, how can I be such an idiot" kind of way. So...growing up in a conservative Christian background, I always knew I had to read the Bible. And even now, if I don't read it, I feel horrible. Some of it is conviction, but most of it is guilt and/or fear. Conviction and guilt are different things and that's a whole 'nother issue. I feel guilty because I think God is mad at me. I'm sure if God was conditional, that would be true. But it's not true. The God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob is not petty, nor is he fickle. I'm not trying to wriggle out of an "obligation" to be in the word as a "slave of Christ," but should it really be this sort of obligation? An obligation where it feels like you're the worst Christian in the world if it's not done? I'm not trying to write excuses, just merely thinking. I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way. I need to exorcise the thought that God is upset enough with me to shun me from His graces when I don't read the Word. Though, even when I say it out loud, it's hard to believe. Doing things out of fear [of rejection] cannot nurture, nor sustain, the kind of relationship God wants to have with those who call themselves His children...

Reading the Bible should come from a sort of addiction to God. A spiritual dependency, if you will. I'm seeing that now...and I want to have what Paul had.

Somewhere in the pastor's message this morning, within the context of 2 Timothy 4:6-13, he talked about suffering and self-denial (submitting the self to discipline, not pretending like we're human beings without any actual wants and desires) and how Jesus suffers with us, and how everything that's invested in suffering--the pain, the loneliness, the brokenness, for the sake of the Cross--will be redeemed at the end of it all, that entrusting obedience and trust in God is a worthy investment of our lives, even if it ends in a dungeon...that it takes these sort of things to make a man, or a woman...the pastor stops and says, "Jesus is a genius."

I can't even really explain, in words, how much that statement comforts me...and kind of makes me chuckle. Jesus IS a genius...everyday, I see how He breaks down false ideas, restores brokenness, comforts loneliness and so much more. And in my life alone, He has really done amazing things, even in the last four months. I am a different person, in a lot of ways.

I am thankful for it.

Ishmael

In Genesis 15, after Abram pleads his case about not having an heir to call his own, God makes a covenant with Abram, promising that Abram will have his own son. I'm sure Abram and Sarai were very excited about this when he came home that night to tell her the good news. But I also noticed that in this passage, God had not given any specifics about when this was going to happen or where this heir was coming from. I suppose one would naturally assume that Abram would logically deduce that this promised heir would come from his wife, Sarai. However, I don't think that it was a natural assumption for either Abram or Sarai because Sarai was barren. So, what then would the next logical--and culturally acceptable--step for Sarai to take, as Abram's loving and supportive wife? To give Abram her servant Hagar, so that through Hagar, Abram would have his heir.

We can know, after reading a few paragraphs later, that this was not how God planned to bring about Abram's heir. But Sarai and Abram did not know that. In fact, it was like they were standing at the end of a very dark cave, where they could see, in the distance, the twinkling light of God's promise. But they couldn't even see their feet--or the ground--in front of them, so...they took a step in the dark, towards that light--it didn't deter them from their course, nor did they fall into a hole in the ground.

It's not until Genesis 17:15 that God becomes more specific about the heir he promised Abram, now called Abraham. God tells him that this son will be coming from Sarai, re-named to be known as Sarah, his 90 year-old barren wife. When Abraham heard this, he fell on his face and laughed! It seemed too impossible and ridiculous! He even asked God if He could just use Abraham's already exisiting son, Ishmael, for what God has promised. Of course God says, "No." And God also restates his promise: "...Sarah, your wife shall bear you a son, and you shall call his name, Isaac. I will establish my covenant with him as an everlasting covenant for his offspring after him." But, God does not forget about Ishmael either: "As for Ishmael, I have heard you; behold, I have blessed him and will make him fruitful and multiply him greatly. He shall father twelve princes and I will make him into a great nation." It's amazing to see that even though Ishmael was not how God intended to bring about His covenant with Abraham, God still blessed him.

Reading the story about Ishmael and Abraham reminds me that God will remain steadfast to His promise--no matter what I do. God is a good God. He is faithful. He does what is best for His people--in a sense that He plans my life in accordance to what will bring Him the MOST glory. And while Christians can know and be sure that God has promised us good things, we find ourselves in the pitch blackness of our inability to forsee every outcome of every circumstance. I'm learning more and more that actually living out my faith in who God is means taking steps in the darkness of uncertainty and trusting that God will not leave me alone in that darkness. He is there to pick me up when I fall. He guides my steps and helps me get back on track when I take a wrong turn somewhere.

Like Sarai, I often make decisions that would seem to fit into God's will for my life, only to find out that it was kind of close...but not quite Isaac. Abraham and Sarah were not punished, nor were their actions considered sinful by God. And who's to say that it was a wrong decision? I find that living, actually living life, means that there are more gray areas than there are black and whites. Living in the light of this realization means even more dependency on God's grace and His Holy Spirit. Because as God was gracious towards Abraham, Sarah, Hagar and Ishmael, He is gracious towards us in our effort to find our footing in the uncertainty. We must also be able to give grace to ourselves in that regard. I mean, if God can give room for our limits as human beings--this is seen throughout Scripture and even in how Christ came TO us, while we were sinners and enemies of God--shouldn't we also accept our limits and give our humanity some room, too?

Everlasting Father, Amen.

Today, Dr. Erik Thoennes, one of the teaching elders at Grace Evangelical Free Church in La Mirada, CA, spoke about Jesus as the Everlasting Father. In "light" of the Christmas season the church is doing a four-part series based of off Isaiah 9:6-7:

"For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given;
and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father and Prince of Peace. "

In this morning's sermon, Dr. Thoennes encouraged the church in reminding us of Jesus' role as Everlasting Father in our lives. He talked about the context in which the prophet Isaiah spoke the prophetic words of Isaiah 9--it was during a time when God's people were in turmoil and in anguish due to the impending Assyrian invasion. Their rebellion and turning away from God has brought this disaster to them, but still, God promised them Hope:

"Of the increase of his government and of peace there will be no end.
On the throne of David and over his kingdom,
to establish it and to uphold it
with justice and with righteousness
from this time forth and forevermore.
The zeal of the LORD of hosts will do this."

How amazing it is to have an everlasting Father who cares for us and that even our rebellion cannot keep Him from caring for us the way He intends to. He is a Father who is more than capable of taking care of us, unlike our earthly fathers, who are limited in there finite existence, who are bound to disappoint us because they are not perfect. But Jesus IS perfect and He has taken care of everything: He died for the sins of the world, so that we would be free from the law of sin and come to know God! And there is nothing that we go through, nothing that we need, no problem or pain that we experience that Jesus cannot meet or fulfill, or even, understand. He knows us. And the way He cares for us, may not always be what we expect or want. But to be able to trust in a God who is an everlasting Father, I mean, what is time to an everlasting God?

So, why be impatient? Why, Linell, why?