8:37am

I am a grown-up. I pay rent. My credit score is a above 720. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want, however I want. And if I wanted to, I could go to Disneyland today--even if I went yesterday.

Sometimes profundity can become a vain search for a reason to feel validated for having to get up early in order to escape the street-sweeper's wrath. Another minor downside to living where I do now is that the Rosebeach Apartments only allows 2 cars per household to park inside the campus. Since Kendra, Jennie and I all have cars, that meant that in this spin of parking wheel of fortune, I landed on the "Park outside on the street" option. I usually don't mind but today also happens to be the third Thursday of the month: Street Sweeping Day (dun dun dunnn). Sure, I could've stuck it to the man and not moved my car. But the consequences of my rebellion would be a parking violation/ticket and I really cannot afford extra expenses at this point (that's legit grown-up thinking right there.)

Anyways, back to my attempt at being profound. Arbitrary as it seems, while I was at Disneyland yesterday with Kendra and Abby (also known as "Schmabby-Wabby"), all we could talk about, while waiting in line for the Indiana Jones ride, was that we were grown-ups (ironic?). Ok, maybe it wasn't so much them as it was me. And we did talk about other things and played a game called "Little Black Frying Pan."

I guess it just dawned on me that I am completely moved out of my house and La Mirada is now my place of residence and will be for, at least, these next three years as I finish the nursing program at Biola. Wow. I think I was in some sort of denial, thinking that Fresno is still my home. But if you want to be technical, it really isn't. It's just so weird! It's not like I'm going home for the summer for long periods of time, anymore. I live in an actual apartment, not a dorm. I don't have to move out at the end of the year. I bought my own bed and boxspring! I make actual dinners, not microwaveable ones, that I cook from scratch. I actually have to defrost my own chicken! And I actually have to stick to a budget because I am no longer dependent on my parents, who would help me out in a heartbeat if I asked them to, but me being 23 and them being in their mid-50's and late 40's and having two other children in their home, it's better for me to not rely on them for financial support.

I really, really, really am grateful for this time in my life. And in this small window of time, I have absolute single-ness, where I don't have a significant other, I'm not married, nor do I have small children to divide my time and my attention. I know--and hope--that I'm not going to be this single for the rest of my life (marriage and kids sounds really great!) but I know I should milk this time for all its worth. I really could do whatever I want, whenever I want, however I want. Not that I should, of course. The most important thing I've learned, from this first summer living on my own, my independence is futile, insufficient and is far less fulfilling than a complete and utter dependence on Jesus Christ. It seems that the more a person grows up, the more he/she needs Him.