"what if's" are a major component of everyday life. they're often what tips the balance between focusing on the here and now and the future that is to come.
"what if's" often, short-circuit my brain and at the most inopportune times, too. like when i'm driving. there have been more and more instances now, where i have caught myself completely drifting off, staring into nothing with my mouth-wide open, while waiting at a red light. or even when i'm just driving down the street. it's scary how little I have been paying attention to the road. my guardian angel has his work cut out for him (wow. that was cheesy.)
my "what if" mode is comparable to a person in a hypnotic state. when i start to think of things that could've been or plausible possibilities for certain circumstances, i'm pretty sure my heart rate actually becomes slower and my breathing, deeper. I'm generally more relaxed. which is ironic: one would assume that this kind of thing would stress me out, instead, i find myself in a very calm, meditative state.
frankly, i don't know why i'm choosing to write a commentary about my behavorial glitches. i suppose it's something to do when there's not much else to do. and when there's not much else to do, there's always daydreaming--an act that involves thinking of things one could possibly do if one were not limited by the boundaries of real life, or thinking of things that one could do even within the boundaries of real life, but these things are not always immediate realities, many of these things exist within the realms of the future; thus they are not "realities" but possibilities.
daydreaming, or thinking of "what if's" is therefore, then a reaction to a dramatic reduction of activities in my daily living. i wish i could say that i hate it, but in reality, i am loving every minute of it thus far. i have not been this relaxed for quite some time now and i'm going to savor every second of it. i know that when the Fall comes, i will be ridiculously busy.
12.6.08
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1 comment:
it's interesting to read what you think about. i likes it.
p.s. but girl - you put commas in unique places! haha.
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