Truest Joy

the subject of Christian joy can be tricky. some would say that Christian joy does not necessarily mean exuberant happiness on a day to day basis, but more like an undercurrent amidst life's unfairness and trials--somehow rationalizing the "doom and gloom" that many serious Christians tend to have--therefore explaining away their palpable depression and misery. and then there's the other end of the spectrum that Christian "joy" can tend to be intentionally or unintentionally fake, overtly contrived to compensate for something unseen, or unrealized. i have seen/experienced both manifestations of Christian joy and i must admit that neither are satisfactory. and for some time, i tried to neutralize myself to the elusiveness of it all, by trying to pretend like i didn't care. but the truth of the matter is that there must be the truest joy, a matter that the holy spirit has been prompting my heart to seek after--i cannot settle for neutrality in this matter.

but how can one have the Truest Joy without contriving it, or seeking happiness as a means to an end? is there really something so wrong about enjoying life to it's fullest, within the context of a Christian's pursuit of God and holiness?

i am reading a book by Martin Lloyed-Jones titled Spiritual Depression: It's causes and Cures, and he has a theory--well, actually, he has a few, but this one really stood out to me:

The particular trouble with which we are dealing tends...to be common among those who have been brought up in a religious manner...it is more likely to affect those who have been brought up in Christian homes and families...there are many such people who seem to go right through their lives in the way described by Shakespeare as 'bound in shallows and in miseries.'They are in the realm of the Church and very interested in Christian things; and yet when you compare them with the New Testament description of the new man in Christ you see at once that there is a great difference. Indeed they themselves see that, and this is often the main cause of their depression and their unhappiness....they are what I would call miserable Christians, simply because they have not understood the way of salvation, and for that reason all their beliefs and efforts have been more less useless. They often concentrate on the question of sanctification, but it does not help them because they have not yet understood justification.
...This confusion is an old trouble. In a sense it is the masterpiece of Satan. He will even encourage us to be righteous as long as he has us confused at this point. That he is doing so at present time is clear from the fact that the average person in the Church seems to regard men as Christian simply because they do good works.

i would tend to agree with mr. jones. i believe this theory sufficiently explains the trouble of the miserable Christian and the one who feels the need to fake their joy, for lack of it. and really, a miserable Christian and one who needs to fake joy, are one in the same. it is the problem of externals. why must we feel that we need to prove ourselves to others when we have the absolute approval of the One who matters the most? The LORD has never asked us, nor expected us, to prove ourselves to Him in order to receive His love and blessing. He has accepted us completely, in our sinfulness and imperfections, and has given us the sole reason to have pure, unadulterated joy. In this context, it is important to consider: That while we were sinners, Christ died for us and that God's love is incomprehensibly, undeniably, UNCONDITIONAL--unaffected by what we do or not do.

But still the question remains, how can we, then, have the truest joy? how can we practically attain something that seems so elusive? Well, this is what God has been teaching me over the last three years (which i'm sure is only the beginning). It has been a long season of trials and adversity, hardships and heartwrenching changes. I have experienced many a low points, misery at some points and sometimes even contrived joy. But still my lowest, most bleak point had to come before I emerged, only by God's amazing grace, with a new and profound understanding of His love and His desire to have a deep, loving relationship with me. It has been said "You must be miserable before you can know true Christian joy." And I find this to be so true. This life is ultimately not about what I do, but about enjoying a relationship with Him. In order to be effective in ministry, it must come from a heart, overflowing with love for Christ! Not guilt, or a sense of obligation attached to other people's expectations. One cannot understand the love of Christ by working for it. One can never cook enough meals, or attend enough bible studies or lead enough hours of worship. We must enjoy our relationship with God, for the sake of who He is, in order to enjoy life and all that He has for us to do in this life. And enjoying God is a continual practice of seeking His presence in every moment of every day. To find ourselves centered on who He is, reminding ourselves of His blessings. That is the truest joy. There can be so much more to say, but since this post is already so long, I think that my particular journey, especially in these last few weeks, can be summed up in this paragraph:

There is not a world a kind of life more sweet and delightful than that of a continual conversation with God. Those only can comprehed it who practice and experience it; yet I do not advise you to do it from that motive. It is not pleasure which we ought to seek in this exercise; but let us do it from a principle of love and because God would have us...