The Beginning

a journal entry, titled Oz, written on May 31, 2007:

If my life, at this point and time, could be compared to anything, anything at all, I would compare it to “The Wizard of Oz,” minus the encounter with the Munchkins and the witches. I’m having an “I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore” experience. I don’t know where I’m going or what I’m doing in “Oz.” The purpose has yet to be fully revealed to me and that can be quite frustrating.God is the Wizard that I must seek in order to find answers, in order to find my way back to “Kansas.” Even amidst my most formidable trial, yet, I know that God is very real. I know that He is sovereign. His existence is not a mere demonstration of the capability of man’s inventiveness, but He is, without a doubt, a being of objectiveness. No matter what state my heart is in, He is there. No matter how much I may choose to not acknowledge Him, I know that I can’t wish God away. I can’t even escape talking about Him. It’s something that just happens.

So God is there. Waiting for me, at the end of the yellow brick road. It took Dorothy an hour or so to get there, but I think it will take me a little longer. Sometimes, I can’t help but feel that this journey is too big for me. I’ve grown anxious, not knowing where this “road” will lead me. I know it will lead me to God but I don’t think it will take me back to “Kansas.” That’s not my home anymore.