The Unmarried Life: an introduction

so, i'm turning 25 this Friday. I'm turning a quarter of a century old this week. I admit that that is a pretty dramatic statement. But, isn't it true? And no, I'm actually not bitter. I have no regrets. Still, it's tempting to sort through the "what ifs" that float through my mind and even more tempting to believe that, at the point in time when I had to make a choice, I chose a different fork in the road than the one I had chosen, that maybe things would be different. Hm. But that's not true. I believe in God's sovereignty that somehow works in and through my choices. Where I have been and where I am now is exactly where God wants me. I don't know how, I just believe that that's true. And I'm going to leave it at that.

Of course, the whole marriage issue is bound to come up. "You're in your mid-20's and you're not married." Yeah, tell me something I don't know. When I was 18--fresh out of high school, a sheltered, blissfully ignorant snot--I had my whole life planned out before me and I think I was supposed to be married at least three years ago. This isn't a bitter rant. I am actually very content in my unmarriedness. Does that mean I've given up on getting married? Hellz no. It's my hearts desire to be married, have children, experience life together with another man, and of course, experience the goodness of sex. I do believe that it is my heart's desire to glorify God in all the ways that I could glorify Him in loving another human being of the opposite sex.

The journey to contentment has been arduous and I still have my moments when it's hard for me to be single. I think that's mostly because I've spent the last four months of my life trying to readjust to a life of singleness after ending a relationship that was the best thing that has ever happened to me. It seemed like a cruel joke--only that I know that God's not cruel, but that almost makes it harder to work through all the emotions of losing something (or someone) that I want(ed) so much. That relationship whetted my appetite for marriage even more and I thought that that was it. I was home free. One thing for sure that I've learned: never assume such a thing until there's a ring on my finger.

The unmarried life is what I've learned to call this phase. And really, this may not be a phase, this could be my entire life. The odds are about the same: there's a 50% chance that I'll get married and 50% chance that that is not what God has in store for me. Whatever the odds are, my life right now is what matters. I don't want to just be waiting for Mr. Right to saunter in through the door and sweep me of my feet. I want to continue to live life to the fullest, in serving God and his people and enjoying his presence, whether in time of plenty or in time of need. While marriage is an important milestone in a person's life, I will not give in to the thought that I can never be fully "complete" until I am married. It's been said that a person is already a complete whole in Christ in their singularity, but most people in the Christian circles don't really believe that. If they did, they would stop pitying the unmarrieds and the unmarrieds would stop pitying themselves.

I do believe that I have plenty of time. I'm only 25 after all. And for me and maybe for others who are feeling the pressure of unmarried life, it may not be the question of "if," but the question of "when." And while it's true that those who desire marriage so much cannot merely blockade the thoughts from their minds, I want to encourage those, who are in the same boat, to not live life "parenthetically." Life is not be lived in segments. I pray that if I'm in my 40's and still unmarried that I would still have my hands lifted high, praising Jesus, with my heart and my will completely surrendered to His.