Beautiful Mercy

Thank you, Kendra Bailey for sharing this song with me.

Beautiful Mercy by Laura Hackett

There is no pitt too deep
that Jesus cannot reach

there is no sorrow too strong
that will overtake his beloved ones

And He's brought me to the wilderness
where I will learn to sing
And He lets me know my barrenness
so I will learn to lean
Yes He's brought me to this wilderness
where I will learn to sing
and He lets me know my barrenness
so I will learn to lean

so kind, oh beautiful mercy
do what you have to do
Jealous Lover
Do what you have to do (You know the best way)
oh Beautiful Mercy
do what you have to do
Jealous Lover
do what you have to do

So I will sing
yes, I will sing

even in the brokenness
I will sing
even in this loneliness

O Come All Ye Faithful

These thingies are always fun.... and I know that it's 8:15 in the morning, which is kind of pathetic. Whatever. I do what I want. I'm done for the semester. Yip!

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions.

Your Artist: So Elated

Are you male or female: Lucky Ones

Describe yourself: Why I Need You

How do you feel about yourself: Not Complete

Describe where you currently live: Exit Door

The first thing you think of when you wake up: Come Thou Long Expected Jesus

If you could go anywhere, where would you go: Eastern Star

Your favorite form of transportation: Shepherds And Angels

Your best friend is: Stick With You

Your favorite color is: Greensleeves

What's the weather like: It Came Upon A Midnight Clear

If your life were a TV show, what would it be called: The Ache of Going Without

What is life to you: Open My Heart With Knives

What is the best advice you have to give: Redemption

If you could change your name, what would it be: The First Noel

How you would like to die: Viral (The Incapable Rival)

Your soul's present condition: Why I Need You

The faults you can bear: Creep

How would you describe your love life: Strangers

What are you going to post this as: O Come All Ye Faithful

for more stuff by this artist click here. I really enjoy them. Their style is reminiscent of most indie/experimental/folk artists, which I love because their sound is unique from most Christian artists. And their lyrics speak to and addresses the reality of living a life of faith as broken people in this broken world.

hmm. yes.

an excerpt from a Job study guide (the context of the following paragraph is how Job expressed himself freely, not holding his emotions back, when He spoke with God about his suffering [Job 7:7-21; 9:14-10:7] and how Scripture encourages us to "pour out our hearts to God." [psalm 62:8]):

...Sometimes anger can mean we are outgrowing a concept of God that is no longer adequate. That was surely the case with Jonah who was angry that God did not live up to Jonah's expectations as a just judge of Ninevites [Jonah 4:1,4,9).

Mike Mason says, 'The difference between believers and unbelievers is that while the former argue on speaking terms with the LORD, the latter do so by turning their backs and giving Him the silent treatment...Anger may be used by God to break up a spirit of complacency...our anger functions to move us closer to God as He really is. Religious phonies will go to almost any length to hide the fact that their relationship with God is not real or satisfying. But people who truly love the LORD have a consuming hunger for reality."

studying in between daydreams...

maybe it's because of the enormous pressure that i've been feeling lately to become a competent nurse by the time I graduate (in three semesters!) that i've turned to dreaming about non-nursing related things that I could be doing for the rest of my life to cope with the stress. Or maybe it's just part of my "jack-of-all-trades" frame of mind--which means that i have a varied interest in...things: I enjoy playing guitar/writing music, i love art, i get giddy about sitting in various coffee shops, drinking from "for here" cups, i love cooking, i love photography, children, i enjoy the vocation of nursing, i have great interest in fashion & interior design, and in the culinary arts, i love traveling... and the list goes on. There must be a reason why God put all those interests inside me. I'm sure they're supposed to come together in some way, shape or form...

so today, in between reading/studying the primary interventions for a burn patient and my roast beef and swiss sandwich-- i came up with the "perfect" life: I would be a nurse by day (or 3 days of the week), of course, but I would eventually have a music therapy clinic, while also co-owning a coffee shop in which my children would help/work in (if they were of age, of course, and if they wanted to, this wouldn't be an infringement of any child labor laws, at all--though i would highly encourage work. i think kids would enjoy that sort of thing, plus it supposedly teaches them responsibility). Did I forget to mention that I went to culinary school in between the establishment of my music therapy clinic and the coffee shop (where I would host different shows/performances and invite my clients from the clinic to attend to these performances). Anyways, because I would be a graduate from culinary school, I would make amazing gourmet meals for my family & friends (for fun and for special occasions: church potlucks, birthdays, etc.) And sometime in between or after culinary school and my coffee-shop, I would record a CD and proceeds from the CD would go to different missionaries and maybe fund some sort of organization that will sponsor a mission trip I would take someday where I will use music therapy in conjuction with my nursing skills to bring Jesus and wholistic healing to the culture/people I encounter on said mission trip. I would also have the time of my life decorating my coffee shop, my clinic and my very own home--while borrowing ideas from places like Anthropologie and Pottery Barn. And I would be the sort of mom that would take lots and lots of pictures of her family and put them up on a blog, or around my home...

Though, reality still likes to penetrate even the thickest and foggiest of daydreams--I probably would have to have my school loans paid off before any of this could happen, if it could ever happen. HAH. ew.

Sigh. Wouldn't that be cool if life did turn out the way we plan it? Maybe some things will come true. It is exciting to think about what God has planned for my life. I have a new found openness to wherever He'll take me, or have me do with the time on Earth He has given me. I firmly believe--with all my heart--that He gives us the desires of our hearts, though, it's only through His perfect timing that these things come about.

Ok. study break over.

Holiday bliss.

instant joy. that's what comes to mind when i think of christmas. my inner child can't seem to keep herself under control these days. i find that i enjoy making sugar cookies and decorating them, while consuming large amounts of frosting in the process. To add to my list of things that keep my inner child happy: the cold weather (40 degrees in Southern California is a BIG deal...don't hate.) hot chocolate with marshmallows. lots and lots of marshmallows. peppermint candy canes. peppermint white mocha in those red starbucks cups that come out only for the holidays. trees with lights. listening to the Elf soundtrack. listening to Mariah Carey's "All I want for Christmas" on repeat and unashamedly dancing along with it. singing "O Holy Night" at the top of my lungs. thinking of baby Jesus in the manger, wondering (a) if he ever did cry (b) what sort of thing did they use for diapers in those days.

speaking of baby Jesus, singing songs like "Away in A Manger" have been quick to bring tears to my eyes, especially this part:

Be near me, Lord Jesus,
I ask Thee to stay
Close by me forever
And love me I pray

Bless all the dear children
In Thy tender care
And take us to heaven
To live with Thee there

sigh. I LOVE this time of year.

pajama kid

most kids stay at home on saturday mornings, either to sleep in from a busy week of school and recess, or to sit in front of the television with a bowl of cereal watching cartoons.

but not pajama kid.

pajama kid forgoes the age-old tradition of Saturday morning cartoons and comes to Starbucks with his mother. He wears his floor length navy-blue fuzzy bathrobe, complete with fuzzy teddy bear slippers and his stuffed spotted leopard shark snuggled nicely in his left arm. His red hair epitomizes the meaning of "bed-head."

I watch pajama kid with great interest and amusement as he bounces up and down with excitement, his eyes gleaming with pure joy as his mother orders him a Venti vanilla bean frappuccino with whipped cream. He holds his mother's hand tightly and snuggles his messy little head in his mothers arm--completely unbeknownst to him that his warddrobe and fuzzy slippers make him stick out like a sore-thumb. Not that he would care. Oh, the days of blissful ignorance.

I find this whole situation endearing and I'm not entirely sure as to why. Maybe it's because I like that it seems that the kid is not being held to the same social standards that I find myself bound and obligated to uphold--i.e., he gets to wear his pajamas to public places and I don't. I admire his mother for risking her reputation of being a "good mother," by taking her kid to Starbucks and ordering him a vanilla bean frappuccino at 9:00 in the morning. And I would like to give her the benefit of a doubt that this ritual is not a regular occurence--judging from the excited/spastic nature of the child in question and his obvious endearment of his mother. But I like this "ritual," or this tradition, where for one morning the child and his child-like nature is exemplified, nurtured and adored, by allowing space for his natural affinity for soft, fuzzy things and sugary foods.

Giddy?

A warm feeling just rushed over me. Maybe it's because I'm drinking a peppermint hot chocolate from a "for here" mug at Starbucks--I love "for here" mugs.

Or maybe because, for some unexplainable reason, God has decided to bless me today with the very real realization that He loves me a whole lot. Duh, right? I mean I know that in my head. It's not quite as often that I feel like my heart is about to burst within me because I actually believe it. I feel like I've gained some ground in attempting to understand the infinite love of God.

The best part about this whole giddy feeling is that it feels like a gift. Like something I totally don't deserve. I appreciate it so much right now because a week ago it seemed like I had forgotten about the love of God and the love of others. It's something that I'm continually learning--a life lesson that I hope will never get old. God can take me to the lowest of valleys, but is faithful to reveal to me what matters the most: Himself.

God is showing me that my love for him should not be contingent on the good things in my life. I know that God wants me to be dependent on him apart from blessings, or when life seems to be running smoothly.

So, today is a good day. I'm having a good day. I am enjoying it. But, I'm not in Heaven yet. And the reality of life means that there are more lessons to learn, more frigid seasons to weather, more darkness to endure.

But today is a very good day.

²⁸ Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.

²⁹ He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

³⁰ Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

³¹ but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.