broken.

I broke my phone this past weekend. Correction: my phone broke itself last Saturday afternoon. As I opened it to check a text message, the top half of my flip phone (i.e. the screen) completely disconnected from the bottom half. I was very much annoyed. Maybe even angry. I might have thrown my hands up in the air in a very "why-God-do-these-things-happen-to-me" kind of way. I might've also thrown a silent, yet efficient, tantrum. God knows that I would not be able to afford to buy a new phone at this point. God also knows that this phone held some sentimental value to me. And it was purple. A deep shade of purple. It was pretty. And now it was broken! I loved it since the first time I had laid eyes on it, a year ago, when I bought it purely because I couldn't bear to look at the scratches on my old phone any longer. It was the cheapest that AT&T had at the time, costing a mere $10 (after sending in the proof of purchase for a $50 rebate). And it was all mine. I did not need anything fancy--mostly because funds would not allow it. I was perfectly content with my purple phone. It was all I wanted. Didn't want anything more. Surely AT&T will replace it.

I went over to a local AT&T on Sunday to find out if I still had some sort of insurance or warranty on the phone. It was a huge sigh of relief to find out that I did. The guy at the store called the insurance company that works with AT&T and sure enough, the guy on the other end of the line told me that I qualified for another phone, free of charge! However, I was informed that AT&T no longer carried the phone that I currently had, so they were going to send me something "comparable." I find out that this "comparable" phone, is MUCH fancier than my little old flip phone and it's costs about $140 more. It's one of those phones that has a touch screen and it slides open to reveal a QWERTY keyboard to make me a more efficient "texter." And it's electric blue!

Maybe I overthink things, but couldn't help thinking, as I walked away from AT&T that day with a smile on my face, that this whole incident--though mundane and seemingly insignificant--was a way for the LORD to teach me an important lesson, or at least reveal to me what He is teaching me now: the value and importance of brokenness. It is strangely reassuring that what I think is best for myself...really isn't. I can convince myself time and time again that whatever it is that I am fixated on at the time, is what's "right." And when God, who has my best interest at heart, finally intervenes, it's never an easy process to trust Him enough to let go. The pain can be heartwrenching enough to be confusing. Oh, but when God shows me what He does want for me, it's like...a billion times better than what I thought I wanted! That's when I realize that the pain, the brokenness...was worth it and necessary to be reminded once again of God's goodness and how much He does care for His children.

With all that to say, I am genuinely excited about how God is going to work in my life. In brokenness, there is abundant hope in who the LORD is. He has amazing things planned for me. For all of us, who hope in Him.