Happy 4th.

That little blurp is about all the patriotism I could muster...pathetic, isn't it? It's not that I don't care--I plead ignorance, not contempt. I like America and appreciate my freedom very much. There are just other things on my mind right now. Brace yourself, this is going to be a long one:

I had to work closing shift and tonight I had the privilege to work with "Steve." Obviously, that's not his real name. But I don't want to embarrass him--nor I-- in the event that he accidentally finds my blog. Being a holiday, work was pretty dead, so Steve and I got to talk a lot. It was amazing how much I found out about his life in about an hour.

At first glance, one would assume that Steve is one of those artsy-eclectic musician types, who loves the planet Earth more than his diurnal (daily) shower. He had an abundance of curly black hair that rested on his head like a well-fitted helmet. He wore black thick-rimmed glasses, a faded periwinkle t-shirt, jean cut-offs and a pair of tattered Vans. Steve seemed ethnically ambiguous because I could not tell what he was until he mentioned his Salvadorian heritage: "...sadly, I know more French than I do Spanish. And...that's not much."

Steve just graduated with a Bachelor's in English at the age of 22 and is planning to get his Master's in Poetry at Portland State University. In retrospect, Steve stated his ambitions so ardently that it was reminiscent of a young boy telling his mother how the first day of kindergarten went. Steve was also equally excited about going to Russia in a couple of weeks to meet his girlfriend's family. The reason for his excitement: "I'm planning to propose to her while we're there," he said, emphatically. He claims that he knew she was "the one" after dating the Russian beauty for five months. "Three years later, and with the both of us moving to Portland in March, I think it would be wiser to be married and live together, than live together and not get married. You know?" In addition to being "pre-engaged," Steve is also a creative and talented poet, a self-taught guitar, banjo and piano player, a self-proclaimed vegetarian with vegan ethics, lover of the Gypsy Den, and a fellow connoisseur of talented, yet obscure musicians. Furthermore, he would rather ride his bike than drive a car and he brings a Nerf gun to work with him, just in case he gets bored.

I found Steve to be super cool, refreshing and inspiring, though I think the average "normal" person would classify him as a social outcast, or someone who doesn't adhere to societal norms. I think he's "normal" enough. He's just not afraid to be different. He doesn't try hard--he knows what he likes and appreciates and doesn't need everyone else's pre-approval to act on his pursuit of those things.

I am realizing more and more how drawn I am to people like Steve. I am attracted to that sort of lifestyle--living for or under obscurity, having a genuine sense of originality by finding ways to live life differently from generations before, thinking deeply about everything, self-expression through creative means, etc. And I feel like I'm in a stage of my life where I'm trying to find a different way to live it, without losing the ultimate focus: the glory of God, through Jesus Christ. But the "way things are" just isn't going to cut it, anymore. I have outgrown the legalistic expectations of the Christian subculture. I am through with just sitting there, mouth agape. I am desperate to make the most of my time here on Earth. I am eager to see what that is supposed to look like because I am free in Jesus Christ! I am free to live my life!

But even as I say this, I hear the voices of people in my life who withhold caution from the wind with tightly closed fists: "BUT...we have an obligation to righteousness. You have to be careful not to abuse that freedom. The Bible tells us that we need to be set apart. You can't just do whatever you want. We need to fear God and obey His commands. Be careful to tame your selfish ambitions." Yes, all of that is true. But are we to be so cautious that we stray too far to the right, and become content with simply sitting and hearing sound doctrine within our respective churches without consciously trying to figure out, how these doctrines are to be lived out in every day life? Isn't it worth risking a mistake in order to figure out what it is that God wants for us to do, how He wants us to impact the world for Christ's name?

It may appear that I have diverging and bifurcating points of interests, but really, what I'm trying to say--in 200,000 words or less--is, I perceive people like Steve are people who actually live life. Granted, that is a gross-over generalization and a completely subjective point of view--in other words, my own personal opinion. I widely accept diversion from the norm as something admirable, mostly because it is hard to do.

But what about Christians, those who have everything to live for, those who have been given freedom to live life abundantly, how are we living?

I feel like we are afraid to live as freely as we ought.