Coffee IS a drug!

This week, I'm helping out at Grace EV Free's "Adventure Week," which is the church's very own rendition of that timeless Christian standard: Vacation Bible School. This year's theme: Set Sail.

I get to help out in Crafts, which is really fun, but a little stressful. Kids + markers, or kids + scenic sand (or kids + anything, for that matter) usually equals to about...20 minutes of mayhem (which is how long the Craft rotation lasts per group). There's a lot of noise, a lot of "hey! i need more of... (fill in the blank)," and the occasional disgruntled child, who takes out the disappointment of his craft-project-gone wrong, by scowling in his chair and refusing to be pleasant to anyone.

The craft was simple enough: the kids were decorating their very own sailor hats. But I had about three million requests to draw sea creatures on hats. Five seahorses, three sailboats and four anchors later, I needed a break (there was a lot of yelling, ok? And my head sort of hurt).

I decided to step out and grab some coffee from the parent's lounge. The amount of coffee that I drank was a mere 10 ounces, but it sure didn't take long to kick in: soon I was greeting every child in the room with a hearty, "Ahoy there, matey!"-- complete with the cheesy arm swing and squinty, Popeye expression.

It's 12:37 in the morning and I can't sleep. And 2 hours ago, I was bouncing off the walls in my room, laughing at everything and getting giddy about nothing in particular. There were other strange incidents that happened, but I've decided to spare you the details.

Now as I sit here, I feel the impending doom of a caffeine "crash and burn." It feels kind of like the end of the world--kind of. I think it would be more convenient to, instead of feeling whiny and weepy, be tired and sleepy. In other words, though I may all of a sudden gain this heightened sensitivity to my emotions, I still will not be tired enough to fall asleep. This makes so sense, because I would rather just. . . go to bed.

This reminds me of that one time I had a third of a margarita at California Adventures. I don't know why because it's completely irrelevant. I just remember that, even if it wasn't much alcohol, that miniscule amount of the lemon-lime concoction was enough to "mellow me out," if you know what I mean. You're probably thinking, "that was all in your head." And, yeah, maybe it was just a mental thing, but I assure you that I did feel very relaxed--relaxed enough to get in line for the Tower of Terror without much incident. And I can't stress enough how much I hate that ride. Abhor would be a better word choice, methinks. Better yet: loathe, detest, despise, execrate...I think you get the picture.

Anyway, that was a nice tangent. However, in light of the alcohol issue, I can't help but wonder which is the greater evil: doing more stupid things at a faster rate, or doing stupid things because you can't think straight? Hmmm?

Maybe I should quit drinking coffee? But...flub, I like coffee so much! Or maybe it likes me too much? Could I really give it up? I mean, I'm much more entertaining when I'm caffeinated. Doesn't that count for something? And since when did I start reacting to coffee this way? When did the universe fall out of alignment?