November.

I love first days of the month. They're like mini-reset buttons in life for me. I woke with a profound sense of newness, that feels as refreshing as the crisp, cool autumn morning.

Anyway, I just came back from a church retreat this weekend. Having spent the last 10 years, heavily immersed in church activities, I am no stranger to retreats. But this one was different. I think it's because the church that I've been attending for the last 8 months has been so different from any churches that I've ever been to. It's so amazingly different that I don't even like calling it a "church," because the word "church" has become a negative buzz word for so many people, including myself. Not the the "church," or the body of Christ, is in any way a bad thing, but Christians, have really botched things up, I think, in presenting the church in a good light. There have been so many people hurt, criticized, ostracized and estranged by the very thing that is supposed to represent the love of Christ to the rest of the world. And it's not only non-Christians, who have been hurt. There are a surprising amount of Christians who have been hurt by the church, too.

So, I like to call my church, a community of faithful people. Because it truly is a community of love and acceptance. Not only does Fountain of Life, loves and accepts those, that I believe other churches would not, but it is a place where God's word is preached boldly, where people are challenged to examine their hearts and encouraged to apply the message of the Gospel in practical, everyday living. I think that Fountain of Life's values are clearly articulated in these words: "Deeper in Christ. Further in mission." It is a place that I've really come to embrace the love of God and have come to grips with the fact that there is no way I can do the will of God, if I do not truly have a deep and heartfelt understanding of His love for me and for His people.

I feel so blessed to have spent the weekend with these people who treat me like I am part of their family. I have never felt so accepted for who I am, just the way I am. I am so amazed to see how God's love is truly transformational and so tangible when His people are intentional about showing it. I am excited about this church family. It's the kind of family that I would bring my lesbian/gay friends, too. I would bring cynics, atheists, agnostics, hypercalvinists, extreme fundamentalists and anyone from any other religion to this place, knowing and trusting that they would be loved and accepted as they are. It is so refreshing for me to realize that I am part of something that really seeks to reflect God's grace. And it's been so challenging for me to to really seek to trust that it is God's love and the message of Christ that transforms a person from the inside out. I am reminded constantly that He didn't require of me to have all my ducks in a row and to clean up my act before I could come to Him. No, He came to Earth. He became a human being. He died on the Cross. He came to me. He reached out to me. And thus, my outreach to others should be in the same way.

This weekend has been about Fountain of Life challenging me to live incarnationally. I realized that I have neighbors all around me that I don't even talk to, people that I can build relationships with and share the love of God with. I am so excited about this, but also kind of scared because I know it's not going to be easy, especially because I can be so selfish with my time and tend to be kind of disobedient. I trust that God will help me, through the Holy Spirit. So I'm being realistic...but still really excited!

Thus, I am looking forward to what November will bring :)