Overthinkers alike would probably agree that while we are reflective people, we are also kind of neuroticly negative & tirelessly critical. I almost envy the "glass half-full" individuals, who see the world through their rose-colored glasses and never think to dig deep or overturn anything that may come their way. Overthinkers may be more self-aware, but self-awareness may often slip into misery if allowed to run its course unchecked.
How nice it would be to just "be."
To not have to analyze every. single. minute. detail/emotion/day-to-day happenings.
To just be in the moment and love it. Love the people, the place, the thing that I'm in the moment with.
To don those rose-colored glasses and breathe in rainbows, and spew out glittering messages of happy-go-luckiness.
I reflect on this because the nurse that I am currently precepting with at Children's Hospital of Orange County spews nothing but hearts, rainbows and lucky stars. I spent 12 hours with her and she was a blast. Mostly because she is noticeable happy in a very genuine way. She may be blissfully ignorant, but I think she chooses to be that way. Or maybe she's not. Who knows? I just assumed that she was ignorant of life's troubles because I'm a jerk. Overthinkers, like me, are often cynical of people like her. The overanalyst in me wondered what sort of hidden pain she must be concealing from herself. Then I stopped myself. Who the hell cares? The woman is freakin' happy. Let her be happy. I realized that I could learn something from her.
I want to be a reflective, deep person. But a happy one. I guess I don't really want to be less self aware. But I guess I don't want my self-awareness to impede on the fact that I'm supposed to have joy exceeding from the depths of my soul. I don't think Jesus meant for me to be dwell on the negative. It's about time that I change that.
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