I've been spending some time in Job over the last couple of months. Wanted to share some of my thinking(s):
1. In Chapter 1, God offers up Job, the most righteous man on the earth, to Satan, the evil one, the one who prowls the earth like a ravenous lion, looking for someone to destroy. God tells Satan, "Have you considered Job....behold, all that he has is in your hands." I've browsed over this verse many times but I've never actually reacted to it before. This time around, my mouth hung open. God was more than willing to subject Job to gut-wrenching, heartbreaking pain. In our eyes, this does not seem fair. It's probably because it is not.
2. Before Job's friends decided to try to fix him and make things all better, they actually showed Job compassion and sympathy when they sat with him, on the ground, for seven days and seven nights, without speaking one word..."for they saw that his suffering was very great." Wow.
3. For a long time, God allows Job to speak his mind, to complain...to suffer greatly. Job lamented his brains off. Job did not hold back. Which reminds me of a really great quote I heard last week, "So who here has ever gained anything from successfully hiding your true feelings from God?"
4. However, when it came time for God to speak, when God reminded Job, who He was, Job immediately was silenced. I wonder if Job could've fully appreciated and experienced the GREATNESS of God, if he was not so broken. If his heart was not so tender, would he have said "I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted...I have uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know?" Job had nothing left in him. All he could see, feel, think...was God.
5. My favorite part in the entire book is when the LORD rebukes Job's friends: "My anger burns against you and against your two friends, for you have not spoken of me what is right, as my servant Job has...", AND when the LORD restores Job's fortunes. It wasn't like Job expected the LORD to give him twice as much as he had before. Maybe if Job did know that it was God's plan all along, then maybe he would've focused on the prize at hand. Hm. But would that be so wrong? I can't help but look forward to the prize, which is not really the fact that the LORD will bless me--not because I deserve it, but because He is a good God--but that the prize is really Jesus. Somehow, that feels weird to say, even though I know it's true. "The upward call of God in Christ Jesus," is how the Apostle Paul put it in the book of Philippians.
6. I think that the only way Job was able to survive his suffering was simply by the grace of God, which is ironic, because God allowed him to go through those trials in the first place. That is something that is not easy to understand, nor am I going to pretend that I do.
7. I think it's ok to look forward to and even expect God's blessings, for he does bless us in material ways, and in spiritual ways. His blessing may not mean doubling my fortune, or blessing me with 14,000 sheep...but it's going to be something great and worthwhile...a treasure of sorts...with eternal value...
27.10.09
24.10.09
dead. serious.
I just realized that I tend to write pretty serious blogposts. Not that there's anything wrong with that. But it does negate, or ignore, my fun, frivolous side.
Granted, there has not been much to be funny or frivolous about in the past few weeks of my life, but I'm still pretty funny. Maybe not intentionally. Maybe never intentionally. I guess what all I'm trying to say is, I'll try to be less serious? But I guess I can't really guarantee anything.
Speaking of serious/funny--I signed up for life insurance yesterday. Apparently, when you're 24, you're over the hill and could die at any moment. My dad suggested that I sign up cause, and I quote, I'm "not getting any younger," and I figured, hey...why not.
Thanks Dad. Good looking out.
Granted, there has not been much to be funny or frivolous about in the past few weeks of my life, but I'm still pretty funny. Maybe not intentionally. Maybe never intentionally. I guess what all I'm trying to say is, I'll try to be less serious? But I guess I can't really guarantee anything.
Speaking of serious/funny--I signed up for life insurance yesterday. Apparently, when you're 24, you're over the hill and could die at any moment. My dad suggested that I sign up cause, and I quote, I'm "not getting any younger," and I figured, hey...why not.
Thanks Dad. Good looking out.
23.10.09
"Mash-up"
Mash-up: combining two--or more-- different ideas, or layering them, in order to form one. Finding that one idea, may fill in the deficits of another. (This is my adapted definition of what a mash up is, adapted from a musical mash-up, which can be seen here. Thank you, "Glee.")
If one looks hard enough, one can find redemptive qualities (with some deficits) in secular works--sometimes non-believers can be so profound, "building" altars to God without their conscious knowledge (with deficits filled in by what God has to say):
Today's Mash-Up:
from Lucy Schwartz, lyrics from her song "Gone Away:"
"we were never meant to be this damn broken/words were never meant to be this half-spoken
Falling in a space between the universe/ and all we see has gone away/ Gone away..."
and from the word of the LORD:
" The LORD upholds all who are falling and raises up all who are bowed down. The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food in due season. You open your hand you satisfy the desire of every living thing. The LORD is righteous in all his ways and kind in all his works. The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desire of those who fear him; he also hears their cry and saves them. The LORD preserves all who love him, but all the wicked he will destroy. My mouth will speak the praise of the LORD, and let all flesh bless his holy name forever." [Psalm 141: 14-21]
"He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds. He determines the number of the stars; he gives to all of them their names..." [Psalm 147:3-4]
If one looks hard enough, one can find redemptive qualities (with some deficits) in secular works--sometimes non-believers can be so profound, "building" altars to God without their conscious knowledge (with deficits filled in by what God has to say):
Today's Mash-Up:
from Lucy Schwartz, lyrics from her song "Gone Away:"
"we were never meant to be this damn broken/words were never meant to be this half-spoken
Falling in a space between the universe/ and all we see has gone away/ Gone away..."
and from the word of the LORD:
" The LORD upholds all who are falling and raises up all who are bowed down. The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food in due season. You open your hand you satisfy the desire of every living thing. The LORD is righteous in all his ways and kind in all his works. The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desire of those who fear him; he also hears their cry and saves them. The LORD preserves all who love him, but all the wicked he will destroy. My mouth will speak the praise of the LORD, and let all flesh bless his holy name forever." [Psalm 141: 14-21]
"He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds. He determines the number of the stars; he gives to all of them their names..." [Psalm 147:3-4]
22.10.09
"I could've danced all night..."
I will admit it proudly. I am a "Gleek"-- a new label coined by pop culture to define [or herd] those of us who are fans of Fox's newest TV series, "Glee." For those of you who have not heard, or have made a conscious choice to not jump on another TV show bandwagon--a decision that I applaud and admire you for--"Glee" is a show about a bunch of misfits who are part of a glee club. There is lots of singing (lots of GOOD singing), great re-mixes of popular tunes, good-looking people (Noah "Puck" Puckerman i.e Mark Salling), outlandish humor, and of course, plenty of high-school drama. I think that's part of the appeal. I'm basically watching a lot of quirky yet talented, semi-coordinated people make bad choices. And it's funny in a "I'm-so-glad-I-have-more-common-sense-than-they-do" kind of way. I think many people enjoy this show for that reason...i mean, other than the fact that the musical numbers are just excellent. I can't remember the last time I actually was excited about watching TV! I love Glee. Wee.
Anyway, here's a clip of the Glee club's rendition of Queen's --Somebody to Love. It's by far my favorite.
Anyway, here's a clip of the Glee club's rendition of Queen's --Somebody to Love. It's by far my favorite.
20.10.09
self.
If John Calvin has said, "There is no deep knowing of self without a deep knowing of God, and no deep knowing of God without a deep knowing of self," then--if one agrees with this statement--wouldn't it also be true if I said that a false knowing of self would lead to a false knowing of God and a false knowing of God would lead to a false knowing of self?
Sometimes the word "self" is like a buzz word. It makes some Christians cringe. As if acknowledging the self would be immediately sinning against God. It is understandable, though, that many would react this way. With some Christians from the charismatic movement focusing too much on a person's subjective feelings in regards to worship and the rest of the liberal world choosing to leave God behind to focus on self-actualization and self-discovery, it's no wonder that to some Christians, that even daring to mention the "self" is comparable to dropping the f-bomb.
But in a relationship with God, one cannot ignore the self. In fact, in order to accept one's need for a savior, one must acknowledge and understand the depths of their offense towards God! And in order to do that, one must examine and know one's self--their attitudes, their tendencies, their weaknesses and their faults. But somehow, after the preliminary humbling that leads us to the Cross, the new Christian becomes inundated with the ins and outs of American Christian culture: "Now that you're a Christian you have to look like a Christian, smell like a Christian, talk like a Christian and do what Christians do." And sometimes, in order to keep up with all these expectations, one begins to forget who they really are...a broken, weak creature, who still desperately needs a Savior. They take on, or rather give themselves, a new identity--not the one that Christ gave them, but the one that everyone else expects them to have. Then all of a sudden, being a Christian becomes about doing/saying the right things, leading worship, going to bible study, evangelizing, etc. If a person is acting like a Christian, they must be one. As long as a Christian does what supposed to be doing, keeping busy in the church and being active in ministry, then he's fine. And God is proud of him.
It's not long until we forget who we really are and in forgetting who we are, we forget who God is. We know, in our minds, that He is a Holy God, Sovereign and far above us--which is why we made sure that we were doing the right things so that He wouldn't be mad at us. But we forgot that God's love is unconditional, or maybe we never really took the time to understand that cause we were too busy doing other things for Him. We forgot that His love is not affected by what we do or don't do, so we feel like He's greatly disappointed in us if we missed our 20 min quiet time. We forgot that He accepts us for who we are, that while we were sinners, Christ died for us. We forgot that it is His Spirit's work to transform us, to make us more like Jesus--not ours. We tried to sanctify ourselves by doing what Christians are supposed to do and in doing so, we become ok with ourselves, patting ourselves on the back for doing such a good job.
We all are different--we all have different struggles, different personalities, different sin patterns, different heart-wrenching issues and the list goes on. It must be God's work, to transform us. And in order for God to transform us, we must realize that we need to be transformed and in order to do that, we must know ourselves--in a brutally honest way. We must try our hardest not to try to cover up our deepest, darkest secrets with good deeds and the right theology. We must be real, offering who we are to God, so that in knowing who we are, we may know Him all the more.
Sometimes the word "self" is like a buzz word. It makes some Christians cringe. As if acknowledging the self would be immediately sinning against God. It is understandable, though, that many would react this way. With some Christians from the charismatic movement focusing too much on a person's subjective feelings in regards to worship and the rest of the liberal world choosing to leave God behind to focus on self-actualization and self-discovery, it's no wonder that to some Christians, that even daring to mention the "self" is comparable to dropping the f-bomb.
But in a relationship with God, one cannot ignore the self. In fact, in order to accept one's need for a savior, one must acknowledge and understand the depths of their offense towards God! And in order to do that, one must examine and know one's self--their attitudes, their tendencies, their weaknesses and their faults. But somehow, after the preliminary humbling that leads us to the Cross, the new Christian becomes inundated with the ins and outs of American Christian culture: "Now that you're a Christian you have to look like a Christian, smell like a Christian, talk like a Christian and do what Christians do." And sometimes, in order to keep up with all these expectations, one begins to forget who they really are...a broken, weak creature, who still desperately needs a Savior. They take on, or rather give themselves, a new identity--not the one that Christ gave them, but the one that everyone else expects them to have. Then all of a sudden, being a Christian becomes about doing/saying the right things, leading worship, going to bible study, evangelizing, etc. If a person is acting like a Christian, they must be one. As long as a Christian does what supposed to be doing, keeping busy in the church and being active in ministry, then he's fine. And God is proud of him.
It's not long until we forget who we really are and in forgetting who we are, we forget who God is. We know, in our minds, that He is a Holy God, Sovereign and far above us--which is why we made sure that we were doing the right things so that He wouldn't be mad at us. But we forgot that God's love is unconditional, or maybe we never really took the time to understand that cause we were too busy doing other things for Him. We forgot that His love is not affected by what we do or don't do, so we feel like He's greatly disappointed in us if we missed our 20 min quiet time. We forgot that He accepts us for who we are, that while we were sinners, Christ died for us. We forgot that it is His Spirit's work to transform us, to make us more like Jesus--not ours. We tried to sanctify ourselves by doing what Christians are supposed to do and in doing so, we become ok with ourselves, patting ourselves on the back for doing such a good job.
We all are different--we all have different struggles, different personalities, different sin patterns, different heart-wrenching issues and the list goes on. It must be God's work, to transform us. And in order for God to transform us, we must realize that we need to be transformed and in order to do that, we must know ourselves--in a brutally honest way. We must try our hardest not to try to cover up our deepest, darkest secrets with good deeds and the right theology. We must be real, offering who we are to God, so that in knowing who we are, we may know Him all the more.
15.10.09
broken.
I broke my phone this past weekend. Correction: my phone broke itself last Saturday afternoon. As I opened it to check a text message, the top half of my flip phone (i.e. the screen) completely disconnected from the bottom half. I was very much annoyed. Maybe even angry. I might have thrown my hands up in the air in a very "why-God-do-these-things-happen-to-me" kind of way. I might've also thrown a silent, yet efficient, tantrum. God knows that I would not be able to afford to buy a new phone at this point. God also knows that this phone held some sentimental value to me. And it was purple. A deep shade of purple. It was pretty. And now it was broken! I loved it since the first time I had laid eyes on it, a year ago, when I bought it purely because I couldn't bear to look at the scratches on my old phone any longer. It was the cheapest that AT&T had at the time, costing a mere $10 (after sending in the proof of purchase for a $50 rebate). And it was all mine. I did not need anything fancy--mostly because funds would not allow it. I was perfectly content with my purple phone. It was all I wanted. Didn't want anything more. Surely AT&T will replace it.
I went over to a local AT&T on Sunday to find out if I still had some sort of insurance or warranty on the phone. It was a huge sigh of relief to find out that I did. The guy at the store called the insurance company that works with AT&T and sure enough, the guy on the other end of the line told me that I qualified for another phone, free of charge! However, I was informed that AT&T no longer carried the phone that I currently had, so they were going to send me something "comparable." I find out that this "comparable" phone, is MUCH fancier than my little old flip phone and it's costs about $140 more. It's one of those phones that has a touch screen and it slides open to reveal a QWERTY keyboard to make me a more efficient "texter." And it's electric blue!
Maybe I overthink things, but couldn't help thinking, as I walked away from AT&T that day with a smile on my face, that this whole incident--though mundane and seemingly insignificant--was a way for the LORD to teach me an important lesson, or at least reveal to me what He is teaching me now: the value and importance of brokenness. It is strangely reassuring that what I think is best for myself...really isn't. I can convince myself time and time again that whatever it is that I am fixated on at the time, is what's "right." And when God, who has my best interest at heart, finally intervenes, it's never an easy process to trust Him enough to let go. The pain can be heartwrenching enough to be confusing. Oh, but when God shows me what He does want for me, it's like...a billion times better than what I thought I wanted! That's when I realize that the pain, the brokenness...was worth it and necessary to be reminded once again of God's goodness and how much He does care for His children.
With all that to say, I am genuinely excited about how God is going to work in my life. In brokenness, there is abundant hope in who the LORD is. He has amazing things planned for me. For all of us, who hope in Him.
I went over to a local AT&T on Sunday to find out if I still had some sort of insurance or warranty on the phone. It was a huge sigh of relief to find out that I did. The guy at the store called the insurance company that works with AT&T and sure enough, the guy on the other end of the line told me that I qualified for another phone, free of charge! However, I was informed that AT&T no longer carried the phone that I currently had, so they were going to send me something "comparable." I find out that this "comparable" phone, is MUCH fancier than my little old flip phone and it's costs about $140 more. It's one of those phones that has a touch screen and it slides open to reveal a QWERTY keyboard to make me a more efficient "texter." And it's electric blue!
Maybe I overthink things, but couldn't help thinking, as I walked away from AT&T that day with a smile on my face, that this whole incident--though mundane and seemingly insignificant--was a way for the LORD to teach me an important lesson, or at least reveal to me what He is teaching me now: the value and importance of brokenness. It is strangely reassuring that what I think is best for myself...really isn't. I can convince myself time and time again that whatever it is that I am fixated on at the time, is what's "right." And when God, who has my best interest at heart, finally intervenes, it's never an easy process to trust Him enough to let go. The pain can be heartwrenching enough to be confusing. Oh, but when God shows me what He does want for me, it's like...a billion times better than what I thought I wanted! That's when I realize that the pain, the brokenness...was worth it and necessary to be reminded once again of God's goodness and how much He does care for His children.
With all that to say, I am genuinely excited about how God is going to work in my life. In brokenness, there is abundant hope in who the LORD is. He has amazing things planned for me. For all of us, who hope in Him.
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