More thoughts on self-disclosure...

I think public self-disclosure can be looked at as either glass half-empty or glass half-full...

I've been contemplating for some time now if it's necessarily a "bad" or "unwise" thing to be so open about my personal experiences in walking this life of faith.  I admit that my propensity to share what is going on in my life is an ineffable sort of inclination.  I honestly feel that I have to share, that it's somehow knitted very strategically into the person that God has made me to be.

In some circles, self-disclosure is totally and completely accepted, or at least, not as abhored or viewed as distasteful.  However, I do think that most well-meaning Christians are socialized to view it as a foolish thing. That emotions are to be disregarded and thrown out,  or dumped out, like waste-products, instead of looking at them, sharing them, trying to see where they come from. Then again, most well-meaning Christians don't value the process of self-examination and will go to great lengths to avoid looking at their sin issues in a more microscopic and meaningful way.  Not to completely digress, but in regards to the process of self-examination, I think overgeneralizing sin and our struggles as human beings--and not giving respect to the roots and causes of our specific struggles--is actually a clever and unintentional way, Christians have used to avoid themselves, or the uglyness of who they really are.  How can we truly appreciate the cross of Christ and what He died for, if we don't truly see who He actually died for?  I feel like we only tap the surface sometimes because we're afraid of what we might see.  It's understandable.  The Bible does say that we are depraved beings. 

Anyway.  I do see the pitfalls of public self-disclosure.  There is a degree of oversharing that is, in fact, weird.  But does it deserve judgment? No, I don't think so.  Do people who overshare want attention? Yeah. But like everything else that we do, there is an underlying reason for why we do what we do.  People who share want to be seen, which I believe is a basic human need.  Who doesn't want to be noticed and given affirmation for who they are?  Christians seek out God and we want to be seen by Him. It's not wrong to want that or acknowledge that it is a need. We are children of a most High God and like children, we want to be seen.  Even Hagar acknowledges this in Genesis 16:13, as she sat in the desert, because a jealous Sarah ran her out of her house--for having the audacity to actually get pregnant with Abraham's child (though it was Sarah's idea to have them sleep together in the first place).  But God meets Hagar in the wilderness, amidst her pain and troubles and blesses her. And her response is so beautiful, "You are a God of seeing,' for she said, 'Truly here I have seen him who looks after me."

Ok, I digressed again. Sorry. So yes, people who view self-disclosure as a way to only get attention and affirmation from others aren't completely off base. But again, I don't think it's necessarily wrong.  And I think that some people may judge self-disclosure because they themselves don't understand it.  We reject what we don't understand.   On the other hand, people who refuse to share their personal stories and their emotions have their own underlying reasons for keeping it to themselves.   Maybe it's fear.  Fear of judgment. Fear of rejection. Or maybe it's pride.  A refusal to show weakness, or admit weakness. Or maybe it's ignorance.  Some may be completely unaware of their own crap, so they have nothing to share.  I think it's important to know why we share or don't share because I believe the way that people share with others directly affect how they share their lives with God.  And He of all people deserves our transparency...

Clearly, I am biased towards a more transparent way of living. Again, part of me feels like I just can't help it, sometimes.  I see how God is moving and working in my life and I don't think He wants me to just keep it to myself.  There are times that I share because I seek solace in the company of others, the comfort of people who care and love me.  When it's a more generalized audience, I think I share because I want people to know that they are not alone in their struggle and in a way, I think I am seeking affirmation for myself that I'm not alone, either.

Whatever the case may be, I sincerely believe that there is more eternal value in being sincere and transparent with others, than not. Not that it's easy.  Because it's not.


Toodles.