Loneliness

A friend told me about a woman, in her late 30's, who's never been married and travels the world as part of her photography ministry. This woman talked about dealing with loneliness as a single woman and the realities of the struggles that she faces. She made an astute observation and realized that the overwhelming power that loneliness can often have on an individual is directly related to, if not, a cause of, fear. Fear that is rooted in insecurities-- she is not loveable, not wanted, that she isn't special enough, that the negative things she perceives about herself are actually true causing her to be undesirable. There is fear in the unknown, of what the future will--or will not--bring. And there is fear that the feelings of loneliness will never go away, that she is to succumb to its grip every time it comes knocking on the door of her consciousness. But then she says that at this point, she writes the word "loneliness" on a piece of paper, straps it into the front seat of her Prius and takes it for a drive down the streets of Newport. Loneliness then looses it's firm grip. And she overcomes.

I just want to meet this woman, give her a high five and say "You go, girl!"

I found this story to be, pardon my early 90's lingo, "too legit." She is a woman who is no stranger to loneliness and she doesn't quit living her life! And I can't imagine how difficult it must be to be in her late 30's, living in a context, where the ideal format for living a "good" life is being married and having 2.5 kids...

She says that she has learned to sit in loneliness, allowing herself to face the lies and insecurities that threaten to rob her of her love for life and her inner joy and peace. I admire her for this. She works things out, talks to Jesus about it, fights to see what is true about herself and what is not. Most people, including myself, cannot sit in this seemingly dark and unhappy place. We do whatever it takes to avoid it. Some people make themselves busy enough, or never allow themselves to be alone. Some people jump from relationship to relationship, never dealing with their fears and the pain and the angst that is going on inside.

I am inspired by this woman. She reminds me that the feelings of loneliness are not things to succumb to, but should be faced with courage and resolve.