I laugh at myself because I am blogging about this. Yeah, whatever. I'm going to do it, anyway.
I took out my nose ring today (hence "sparkles"). After much consideration, and even though I have endearing affection for the minute sparkle that I have had on the left side of my nose for the past six months, it must go. Because even though I do love my sparkle, I do not enjoy removing it every week for nursing clinicals. Unfortunately, I've chosen a profession that considers piercings to be strictly un-professional. Sigh. So, it' s not like I can keep my nose ring when I graduate from nursing school. I still laugh at the comment, Amy Micu once made when I told her my plans of removing my beloved nose ring: "Just change your major then! Maybe you can be an artist!" Of course, she was just kidding. Wouldn't it be just a kick in the pants, though, if I let my nose ring dictate the trajectory of my life?
I do have this irrational feeling that my coolness factor is quickly being deflated--like when you let the air out of a tire--except my coolness is escaping via the gaping hole that was my nosering. Yeah, I know. That's silly. I don't need a nose ring to be cool. With that being said, I know there are quite a few fans of my sparkle being gone. The fan-club includes: My parents, Tamara Stankevich, my Ukranian brothers and of course, Steven Puente.
But maybe this isn't goodbye. I do have hopeful consideration that maybe I'll be a missionary nurse in India someday. If so, maybe I'll get to have my sparkle back.
But for now, rest in peace. It was fun while it lasted. And I was very fond of you, Sparkles. And really, this hurts me more than it hurts you.
28.1.09
Resting on God
O God Most High, Most Glorious,
God may cause everything in our life to go dark. We are often so distracted by trivial things, daily adding to a delusion that God cannot fulfill us, that He is not good enough. So, it is a necessary thing, for God to discipline His wayward children, so that we will understand that He is our "good enough." He wants the best for us! And the best for us is God, the perfect and Holy One.
But The Darkness does come at a great cost to us and God understands that. Being true to His character, though He leads us into great suffering, He does not ever leave our side. And in that darkness, we will see God's light, we will see how great He is, we will feel His care, we will feel His power...and in our weakness, His strength is made perfect. He renews our faith, He restores our spirit and He satisfies our soul. He makes us grow in righteousness and in understanding of our faith. He restores our hope in salvation and we begin to see, with our hearts and our minds, that Jesus Christ is our ultimate treasure.
Praise God. Praise Him.
The thought of thine infinite serenity cheers me,from The Valley of Vision, pg 234-235
For I am toiling and moiling, troubled and distressed,
but thou art for ever at perfect peace.
Thy designs cause thee no fear or care of unfulfilment,
they stand fast as the eternal hills.
Thy power knows no bond,
thy goodness no stint.
Thou bringest order out of confusion,
and my defeats are thy victories:
The LORD God omnipotent reigneth.
I come to thee a sinner with cares and sorrows,
to leave every concern entirely to thee,
every sin calling for Christ's precious blood;
Revive deep spirituality in my heart;
Let me live near to the great Shepherd,
hear his voice, know its tones, follow its calls.
Keep me from deception by causing me to abide in the truth,
from harm by helping me to walk in the power of the Spirit.
Give me intenser faith in the eternal verities,
burning into me by experience the things I know;
that I may bear its reproach,
vindicate it,
see Jesus as its essence,
know in it the power of the Spirit.
Lord, help me, for I am often lukewarm and chill;
unbelief mars my confidence,
sin makes me forget thee.
Let the weeds that grow in my soul be cut at their roots;
Grant me to know that I truly live only
when I live to Thee,
that all else is trifling.
Thy presence alone can make me holy, devout, strong and happy.
Abide in me, gracious God.
God may cause everything in our life to go dark. We are often so distracted by trivial things, daily adding to a delusion that God cannot fulfill us, that He is not good enough. So, it is a necessary thing, for God to discipline His wayward children, so that we will understand that He is our "good enough." He wants the best for us! And the best for us is God, the perfect and Holy One.
But The Darkness does come at a great cost to us and God understands that. Being true to His character, though He leads us into great suffering, He does not ever leave our side. And in that darkness, we will see God's light, we will see how great He is, we will feel His care, we will feel His power...and in our weakness, His strength is made perfect. He renews our faith, He restores our spirit and He satisfies our soul. He makes us grow in righteousness and in understanding of our faith. He restores our hope in salvation and we begin to see, with our hearts and our minds, that Jesus Christ is our ultimate treasure.
Praise God. Praise Him.
21.1.09
And so it begins...
If I could rate my winter break thus far, I would give it an enthusiastic two-thumbs up. It really has been the best break I've had in a long time. With that I am quite content. However, I cannot ignore a sort of foreboding feeling that it was a much needed break to prepare me in what this spring semester has in store for me [dun, dun, dunnnnnnn].
I am genuinely excited with what the LORD has in store for me, though I'm very aware that what He has in store for me does not guarantee that I am going to have butterflies in my stomach 24/7. No, I have a very realistic expectation of what's to come as a result of an understanding that the best learning experiences come from very hard situations. I almost have this, "bring it on" attitude because I know that even though it will be hard, God has proven Himself to be faithful, not only in my life, but in the lives of others. I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that He is good. And that it is not cliche for me to hear or say, that He will work all things for good. I want to learn more and more about God and what He wants from me, and if it means a continual breaking down of myself, so that Christ may increase, then so be it. I know that I will not always be so optimistic and clear headed. But may this remind me of what's true when I come back to it later on.
A couple of things:
1. I have made a few New Year's Resolution, which I am sure, will add to my "experience" in these coming months: A resolution to live sacrificially (which means foregoing a Disneyland pass for the year 2009, eating out less, living within my means, a shopping fast for six months and an increasing commitment to tithing--which comes from a conviction from the holy spirit and not of my own accord), a resolution to return to my natural self (dying my hair to my natural color and removing my nose ring as soon as nursing clinicals start), A resolution to eat sweets/desserts once a week (so hard!), a resolution to reading my Bible as the first thing I do when I wake up and lastly, a resolution to remove unnecessary "distractions" and instead seek out ministry opportunities, especially within the church body.
2. This semester is the Oncology (cancer) rotation for Level 1 Nursing Students. Please pray for us as we deal not only with school and the management of our time, physical and spiritual difficulties, but emotional difficulties as well. I am sure that many of classmates have been affected by cancer and it will be an emotionally trying time. Oh and let's not forget that 60 pager that we have to write. Yeah, it's going to great.
I am genuinely excited with what the LORD has in store for me, though I'm very aware that what He has in store for me does not guarantee that I am going to have butterflies in my stomach 24/7. No, I have a very realistic expectation of what's to come as a result of an understanding that the best learning experiences come from very hard situations. I almost have this, "bring it on" attitude because I know that even though it will be hard, God has proven Himself to be faithful, not only in my life, but in the lives of others. I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that He is good. And that it is not cliche for me to hear or say, that He will work all things for good. I want to learn more and more about God and what He wants from me, and if it means a continual breaking down of myself, so that Christ may increase, then so be it. I know that I will not always be so optimistic and clear headed. But may this remind me of what's true when I come back to it later on.
A couple of things:
1. I have made a few New Year's Resolution, which I am sure, will add to my "experience" in these coming months: A resolution to live sacrificially (which means foregoing a Disneyland pass for the year 2009, eating out less, living within my means, a shopping fast for six months and an increasing commitment to tithing--which comes from a conviction from the holy spirit and not of my own accord), a resolution to return to my natural self (dying my hair to my natural color and removing my nose ring as soon as nursing clinicals start), A resolution to eat sweets/desserts once a week (so hard!), a resolution to reading my Bible as the first thing I do when I wake up and lastly, a resolution to remove unnecessary "distractions" and instead seek out ministry opportunities, especially within the church body.
2. This semester is the Oncology (cancer) rotation for Level 1 Nursing Students. Please pray for us as we deal not only with school and the management of our time, physical and spiritual difficulties, but emotional difficulties as well. I am sure that many of classmates have been affected by cancer and it will be an emotionally trying time. Oh and let's not forget that 60 pager that we have to write. Yeah, it's going to great.
7.1.09
Changing.
it may seem
that we are firmly planted
in the unknown
destined to suffer
in our uncertainties
--for what do finite creatures
know about the turning tide of time?
only that in seasons
of pestilence and tribulation
does time seem to move
much
too slow
for our convenience
we stop to consider:
perhaps it is the
design
of the Divine
creator
that we relish our seasons of trouble
so that, when the light of the dawn of the morning
breaks the dreary, cold darkness of the night--
the morning air is taken in deeply
and relished joyfully in our lungs:
an Ebeneezer to the goodness of God,
that He is the only good.
but like the seasons of spring and winter
that we are so familiar with,
the seasons of our lives
will drift into the next,
but--
not without leaving an impression
on our minds,
not without changing our hearts,
not without reminding us
of what is most important.
hope lies in change.
because change is certain.
that we are firmly planted
in the unknown
destined to suffer
in our uncertainties
--for what do finite creatures
know about the turning tide of time?
only that in seasons
of pestilence and tribulation
does time seem to move
much
too slow
for our convenience
we stop to consider:
perhaps it is the
design
of the Divine
creator
that we relish our seasons of trouble
so that, when the light of the dawn of the morning
breaks the dreary, cold darkness of the night--
the morning air is taken in deeply
and relished joyfully in our lungs:
an Ebeneezer to the goodness of God,
that He is the only good.
but like the seasons of spring and winter
that we are so familiar with,
the seasons of our lives
will drift into the next,
but--
not without leaving an impression
on our minds,
not without changing our hearts,
not without reminding us
of what is most important.
hope lies in change.
because change is certain.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)