Sometimes people write funny songs...

I was sitting in the library, minding my own business, distracting myself from doing homework (the usual) and listening to Frank Sinatra Radio on pandora.com when a song came that made snicker loudly (woops). I'm sure you'll find the lyrics very interesting:

I Can't Be New by Susan Werner

Coffee, ham and eggs
I can be your diner
Tired and aching legs
I'll be your recliner
And when you need a breath of air,
i'll be your balcony

when you need a laugh,
I can be your joker,
cut a loss in half,
I can be your broker
cause all of that and more
you've been for me

i'll be, very least, when the pressure's heightening
i can be the grease when your wheels are tightening
when you need a dance, I can that ol' soft shoe
I can be your girl, through the best and worst times
but I can't be the girl, you notice for the first time
there's so much I can do, but I can't be new...

and when their buying you steak baby, I can be the gravy
when they throw you in the lake, I can be the navy
be that three day leave
I can be that bad tattoo
I can be the sky, the very wild blue yonder
so I can catch your eye
when it starts to wander
as I've seen it do
oh, at least a time or two,
i'll be anyting for you baby
but I can't be new...

I will reserve my thoughts about this song for another blog post. Right now, I really need to...concentrate. aaaaaah.