Disclaimer: If it seems like a lot of my blog revolves around what happens at work, well--a lot of my life, as of recently, revolves around my coffee-shop job. It's not that I'm obsessed with coffee or anything. When I speak in terms of "life" I'm mostly referring to the people that I work with and interact with on a day-to-day basis. Conversations that I have with my co-workers may not be as meaningful as others, but even the less than meaningful confabulations have lead to meaningful thoughts--well, at least on my end:As of the beginning of July, I seemed to have transitioned from "new-girl" to "girl that works closing shift." A lot of the initial awkwardness of being in a new work environment has worn off. Making drinks and doing the chores have become systematic, therefore making it possible to actually talk to people. The person I'm thinking of in particular is *Bryan. He started working at IAG (It's A Grind) about the same time I did. He's a professing Christian. And he's also gay. Woa, red flag, right? Bryan grew up in a Christian home and was raised in church. He is the youngest of five children. He said that he had a normal childhood growing up--except for the fact that he's been attracted to boys ever since he was three. He remembers coming home from pre-school and talking about the cute boys in his class. His parents thought it was just a phase that he was going through, so they didn't really think it was a big deal. In high school, Bryan said he began to take his Christianity more seriously. But he was still attracted to guys. He said that he tried to pray it away, but those same-sex attractions still remained. Because those attractions remained, he's accepted it--seemingly without trepidation. He assures me that he loves going to church, and has his morals in check and is not promiscuous. However, he also entertains boys who pursue him. He's been in a few relationships and flings with guys and is currently "hanging" out with a guy who has a crush on him. I asked him how he reconciles what the Bible says about homosexuality being a sin and not of God's original design and his dating, or social life. And to this, he responded: "I don't know. I'm just going with the flow. This is the way things are. And I know what the Bible says, but I know that I'm not destined to be single for the rest of my life. I have every intention of marrying the person that I fall in love with." I told Bryan that I would be praying for him. It was all I could say at that moment in time.
Bryan is a nice, fun guy. He's outgoing and the life of the party. However, when I work with him, it feels like my soul is being ripped apart in 20 different directions. That sounds intense, but I don't know how else to describe it. I love this guy--in a brotherly, platonic, un-romantic sort of way, but I also don't agree with his lifestyle, and I'm not talking about him being gay, I'm talking about how he says that he is a Christian but does not seem to take this claim seriously. His eager pursuit of romantic relationships with men seem to also indicate this. I humbly recognize my own inadequacies to make a judgment on anyone due to the massive plank in my own eye, but I also know that if one claims to be a Christian, then they should, at the very least, be distinguishable from those who do not have Jesus Christ in their lives; not because Christians are better than anyone, but because Jesus said so.
It concerns me--and maybe it shouldn't-- that Bryan seems to blend in, almost too well, with my non-Christian co-workers. At first, I wondered if I was just jealous. My co-workers have taken to him like a young child to a puppy dog. They absolutely love him and love to hang out with him, work out with him, eat with him, etc. They probably sense my prudish ways like some sort of "fun-sucker" vibe that I give off. This is most likely the reason why I'm not invited to anything. The general apprehensiveness of my co-workers around me is sometimes amusing, but mostly frustrating. I think I'm just as fun and good-humored as Bryan (tooting my own horn here), but it's like I'm missing that key ingredient that would make me fun to actually hang out with.
Yesterday, as I was working with Bryan and watched him make after work plans with a few people, I wondered to myself what Christian morality really is. I wondered this because of the conversation I had with Bryan about morality. This thought has been prominent in my mind as of late because I am becoming increasingly aware of how different I am from the the people I work with, even though one could say that some us share the same moral attitudes. What is true Christian morality? What makes it different from orthodox moral practices that is widely accepted by the public? What is it that makes Christians different in such a way that Jesus would even say, in John 15:18-19: "
If the world hates you, you know that it has hated Me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, because of this the world hates you." There has to be more to morality than not being promiscuous, not getting drunk, not cussing, being respectful to elders, feeding the homeless and going to church, right?
Incidentally, today I read an article that John Piper wrote on Desiring God blog, titled "
All Things Are From God, Through God, and To God. The Glory Is All His." It was very encouraging and enlightening, especially this part:"Morality in the Christian life is not simply the willpower to do right things, because God has the authority to command them. Christian morality is the overflow of worshipping the sovereign, merciful God. Christian life is the fruit of a mind and heart transformed by seeing and savoring the all-sufficiency and sovereignty and mercy of God revealed in Jesus Christ."
Thank you, John Piper. What comes to mind when I read this is: "you can't have your cake and eat it, too." One has to really believe that what God has to offer through Jesus Christ is infinitely better than the fleeting, provisional undertakings that this world has to give. "One can't serve two masters..."
Last thing. Important keywords: "overflow of worshipping..." Without the right reverence for God, or an accurate view of who Jesus Christ really is, whatever moral views we hold seem meaningless. The reverence of God IS the keeper of morality. Good is possible because of a healthy fear of God, a fear that exists due to acknowledgment of His sovereignty over all things. Therefore, moral views without reverence of God is not really morality. They're just views.
This is my new favorite movie. I watched it a few nights ago at the dollar theatre (or should I say the "Two Dollar Theatre" since they've upped the prices again). When I first heard of this movie, not having seen the previews, I had no interest in watching it. I mean, I'm not a fan of Rambo--sorry Sylvester. But then a friend clarified for me that the title wasn't "the son of Rambo" but the "Son of Rambow." I assure you that the title is a bit misleading to what a gem this movie truly is. It is heartfelt as it is hilarious. The script is clever and witty, the cinematography is beautiful.
